Ethermac Exchange-What is the 'Mob Wives' trend? Renee Graziano, more weigh in on TikTok's newest aesthetic

Mob wives made a comeback this year,Ethermac Exchange and no, it was not the VH1 show. 

Sarah Arcuri, author and self-proclaimed "Mob Wife Aesthetic CEO," kicked off a makeup and wardrobe trend on TikTok that went viral.

"I like to say that I came out of the womb wearing fur," "Mob Wives" reality show star Renee Graziano jokes with USA TODAY, adding that she thought Arcuri did a "wonderful job" with the trend.

Other real-life mob wives, past and present, bemoaned the harm of making their lives into an aesthetic. Some likened the backlash to the cultural appropriation people of color have experienced with other trends; others thought this was a sponsored effort ahead of "The Sopranos" 25th anniversary. The majority were simply tired of the increase of microtrends.

Labeled aesthetics are nothing new to social media platforms, including microtrends — "clean girl aesthetic," "Barbiecore," "cottage core," "normcore" and "Y2K revival" — and longer term trends like "quiet luxury."

Yet nothing caused uproar on TikTok like the mob wife aesthetic.

What is the 'mob wives trend'? The dark history

The aesthetic, modeled after wives of mobsters, saw the resurgence of '80s glamour: leather, fur coats, tight animal print clothing and heavy makeup with an emphasis on bold black eyeliner.

Karen Hill (Lorraine Bracco) in "Goodfellas," Elvira Hancock (Michelle Pfeiffer) in "Scarface," Carmela Soprano (Edie Falco) in "The Sopranos" and Ginger McKenna (Sharon Stone) in "Casino" were some of the early influences that gave the wives of crime associates an image of power with their expensive wardrobe and air of mystery.

In real life, many of the women are powerless, says Alicia Keller, one of the early critics of the trend and an ex-wife to a mafia-affiliate. 

Author Arcari had been dressing with "The Sopranos" character Adriana La Cerva (Drea de Matteo) in mind long before she put a name to her style. "I consider it very classic undefined glamor," says 29-year-old Arcari, who grew up as an Italian American in New Jersey consuming mob pop culture in all forms.

"That dark makeup wasn't necessarily a makeup look more as it was a cover for black eyes and bruises," says Keller, 43, adding that a red lip can act as concealer amid abuse. 

Matteo corroborated that in a recent Vanity Fair interview. "Does anyone really want to be a mob wife? Do you know what part of that aesthetic is? A black eye and a cheating husband," she told the outlet.

Keller says, "And then all the jewels and the furs and the fancy cars … those weren't things that mob wives or organized crime wives get because they're loved. It's things that they get in replacement for having a partner that's safe and present."

Graziano, 55, is supportive of the mob wives trend on TikTok, but acknowledges the darker aspects of the wardrobe.

"Looking back, I wore all black because I was at funerals all the time," says Graziano, the daughter of Anthony Graziano, a former consigliere of the Bonanno crime family. Her ex-husband Hector "Junior" Pagan Jr., who took a plea deal that resulted in her father's conviction, was also involved with the Bonannos.

The reality of being a mob wife included a lot of mourning, but Graziano says, "You can't blame the wives for what their husbands do. You stick by your husband no matter what — unless he's a rat like my ex-husband."

Mob wives trend: Bold aesthetic or cultural appropriation? What pushed people over the edge

As with most trends on TikTok, the mob wife aesthetic fueled conflict. "If you've never been woken up for school by the feds looking for your dad, you don't deserve to wear this (fur) coat, and you don't deserve to talk about mob wife aesthetic," one content creator said in a video. 

Keller also criticized the trend used by people who are "not the ethnicity that belongs in 'The Sopranos,'" a comment that led to much discussion and criticism over Italian Americans suggesting the aesthetic is cultural appropriation.

Keller clarifies that "mob wives is really a costume of women's pain."

She adds that she does "feel guilty" for the controversy of mob wives getting more attention than other callouts of appropriation, but this is the only one she felt comfortable inserting herself into. "It's not my place to speak over women of color and any other culture," she says. 

Unlike Keller, Graziano says the backlash is "ridiculous" and "ignorant" because "every culture has mob wives." The way she understands the trend is that it is "just about the makeup and the attitude."

Graziano, a former stylist and Mob Candy Store owner, teamed up with Drop Me In AI to create an "affordable" way for people to engage in the mob wives trend digitally and get an AI image in the style. "Not everybody can afford to drop all this money on furs and jewelry," she says.

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Arcuri, the 29-year-old who is most known for the trend, argues against the idea that mob wives' aesthetic is cultural appropriation: "I don't think it's completely unique to Italians," she says. "I also don't think that the trend is glamorizing the actual lifestyle itself of crime and violence and illegal activity. … It's solely a fashion trend and also embodying this attitude of a mob wife that's bold and fearless and unapologetic."

"The white girls are fighting," some TikTok creators said of the mob wife controversy.

Liz Marquis, a content creator and fashion industry worker, called out the irony of white women arguing over appropriation on TikTok.

The Y2K aesthetic borrowed from the staple wardrobes and hairstyles worn by Black and brown women that society previously deemed inappropriate; the Chola aesthetic was a direct grab from a subgenre of Mexican-American culture in California.

"That pushback was kind of ignored," Marquis, 23, says of people calling out the origins of those trends.

"When the tables turned, then all of the sudden this mob wife aesthetic (is) already getting pushback from Italian Americans," she says, adding, "Everyone of color (has) said 'you've done this to us for years,' and every time we say something about it, we get huge pushback."

Mob wife aesthetic contributes to burnout over 'core,' aesthetics

The fatigue is evident with of the number of "core," "era" and aesthetics social media churns out every day.

It's not just a TikTok thing, influencer and actor Nimay Ndolo points out. As a 29-year-old millennial, she grew up familiar with macro trends like preps, jocks, geeks/nerds, theater kids and the swag era.

Even if you don’t participate in TikTok microtrends, you've probably identified by your astrology sign, Myers-Briggs, or even your career," Ndolo points out. "These different cores and groups are giving people ways to vocalize their identity in ways that they weren't about before," she says.

That's not the case anymore with TikTok trends. "The turnover on trends is so quick that I don't know really how the industry is going to keep up," Marquis says. "We are no longer seeing trends being handed down to us and dictated to us by these big luxury fashion houses and these trends are sort of grassroots now."

We may soon see the most ironic trend yet, experts say.

"I don't think there's any amount of backlash that people could get for becoming obsessed with these microtrends to the point where they would abandon it," Marquis says. "I think what's going to come next is everyone's going to be fatigued of the aesthetics and then everyone's gonna decide to be themselves, but that will in itself become an aesthetic."

She adds: "Everyone is so obsessed with trying to look different that they will all end up looking the same."

Ndolo agrees, noting the "healthy" approach to aesthetics would be allowing yourself to be "fluid" and take influence from different ones to create a personal style. But in reality, "the aesthetic cycle is eating itself" and we'll all soon revert to default before microtrends pick up again.

So if you think the trends went away after mob wives, just wait, experts say.